I am Mynameistoolongsopleaseignoreit, a messenger of the ForeFathers. Not so recently, I was given a supposedly important mission- Mission RYFF (Remembering Your ForeFathers). News had reached the Publicity Chapter of the ForeFathers Council that they were losing importance among the Earthlings and their position was being substituted by Cricketers (Cricketers are humans who play the game of Cricket. I thought it was the name of a famous Entomologist after whom the insect was named. Clearly, my knowledge of both, the Game and entomology is pathetic). So, my British counterpart, Charleshenryphillipwilliam decided to help me. After all, Cricket was invented in his Land. He tried to teach me the Game, in vain....
I was sent to India to accomplish the mission. The Game is so finely woven in these people's lives that Cricketeducationally-challenged people (like me) would find the place (and the mission) a challenge. "Gulp! What if i got demoted to junior-assistant messenger, or something like that?!", I feared.
Once while walking down Twenty20 Road, I noticed a man discussing with another that, the first ODI was a day and night 'Match'. In my land, ODI stands for Obeisance Directing Instruments, which is a department under the Postal Network. Obviously it would be a day and night affair, considering the number of lightyears that had to be covered to deliver the 'Obeisances' (We cater to other galaxies, as well.) After a month, I was informed that ODI was the abbreviation for a One Day International. I still do not know what that means, except that majority of the players would be wearing the same coloured costumes. The opponents would be clad in another colour with extra-fittings, that made them look unEarthly.
Two expressionless men will always be there on the field. Occassionally, they would make funny gesticulations, which made up for their serious deficiency in facial expressions. Later, I was told that these men are not as unemployed as they may seem. In fact, they are one of the most important factors that decide the fate of the 'Match'.
Apart from ODIs, these Cricketers also have something called as a Test Match. I do not know how it got it's name, but I know for sure that it truly is a test, a Test that tests the Umpires' abilities to err..test the fate of the Game! God alone knows how one identifies the Team that 'bats' and the Team that 'bowls' (Aha! Two new words added to my vocabulary!)Everyone wears the same white clothes! The only possible difference is that the Team which 'bats' wears those extra-fittings called, Helmets (the third word in my Cricket vocabulary).
"It is difficult to live here without knowing the Game. The Game is analogous to the lives of the people, here. The PITCH has rough patches, just like the bad moments in one's life. Life has many surprises, like a bowler's googly. An intended Yorker could end up being a 'full-toss' ball which can cost the bowler badly! Just like certain decisions in life, that can totally change a person's life. If you know how to 'time' the delivery of the ball and 'place' it well while batting, then you can do wonders with your score. Similarly, if you know how to time particular activities and how to react to certain situations in life, it can be made into a bed of roses", drawled a cricket fan. "Your ForeFathers are as important as Cricket. They give you a very important value called EXPERIENCE!", I retorted.
My stay had been long and futile. I was beginning to miss Grandfather Clock...
In order to lift my spirits, the fans took me to a movie called Lagaan. I realised that even the ForeFathers played the Game! I was also introduced to some Cricketing Celebrities (as they were called). I held a meeting with them in order to highlight my mission and the problems I faced. They agreed to 'endorse' my campaign in order to provide it publicity. The day for striking the contract was chosen as 31st September (no specific reason behind selecting this date).
Also, it was decided that 31st September would henceforth be International ForeFathers' Day. Thanks to the 'Council For Having A Special Day, Everyday', whose Chairperson's movie ticket I paid for.
It was time to go back. Mission Accomplished!! No more of the Game. I heaved a sigh of relief....
Oh no! Charleshenryphillipwilliam is playing Cricket with the ForeFathers' Council Members! Looks like I am destined to be haunted by the Game..... Wait a minute! I have been fooled! There is no such day as 31st September! Remember September's sacrifice to August?
I was sent to India to accomplish the mission. The Game is so finely woven in these people's lives that Cricketeducationally-challenged people (like me) would find the place (and the mission) a challenge. "Gulp! What if i got demoted to junior-assistant messenger, or something like that?!", I feared.
Once while walking down Twenty20 Road, I noticed a man discussing with another that, the first ODI was a day and night 'Match'. In my land, ODI stands for Obeisance Directing Instruments, which is a department under the Postal Network. Obviously it would be a day and night affair, considering the number of lightyears that had to be covered to deliver the 'Obeisances' (We cater to other galaxies, as well.) After a month, I was informed that ODI was the abbreviation for a One Day International. I still do not know what that means, except that majority of the players would be wearing the same coloured costumes. The opponents would be clad in another colour with extra-fittings, that made them look unEarthly.
Two expressionless men will always be there on the field. Occassionally, they would make funny gesticulations, which made up for their serious deficiency in facial expressions. Later, I was told that these men are not as unemployed as they may seem. In fact, they are one of the most important factors that decide the fate of the 'Match'.
Apart from ODIs, these Cricketers also have something called as a Test Match. I do not know how it got it's name, but I know for sure that it truly is a test, a Test that tests the Umpires' abilities to err..test the fate of the Game! God alone knows how one identifies the Team that 'bats' and the Team that 'bowls' (Aha! Two new words added to my vocabulary!)Everyone wears the same white clothes! The only possible difference is that the Team which 'bats' wears those extra-fittings called, Helmets (the third word in my Cricket vocabulary).
"It is difficult to live here without knowing the Game. The Game is analogous to the lives of the people, here. The PITCH has rough patches, just like the bad moments in one's life. Life has many surprises, like a bowler's googly. An intended Yorker could end up being a 'full-toss' ball which can cost the bowler badly! Just like certain decisions in life, that can totally change a person's life. If you know how to 'time' the delivery of the ball and 'place' it well while batting, then you can do wonders with your score. Similarly, if you know how to time particular activities and how to react to certain situations in life, it can be made into a bed of roses", drawled a cricket fan. "Your ForeFathers are as important as Cricket. They give you a very important value called EXPERIENCE!", I retorted.
My stay had been long and futile. I was beginning to miss Grandfather Clock...
In order to lift my spirits, the fans took me to a movie called Lagaan. I realised that even the ForeFathers played the Game! I was also introduced to some Cricketing Celebrities (as they were called). I held a meeting with them in order to highlight my mission and the problems I faced. They agreed to 'endorse' my campaign in order to provide it publicity. The day for striking the contract was chosen as 31st September (no specific reason behind selecting this date).
Also, it was decided that 31st September would henceforth be International ForeFathers' Day. Thanks to the 'Council For Having A Special Day, Everyday', whose Chairperson's movie ticket I paid for.
It was time to go back. Mission Accomplished!! No more of the Game. I heaved a sigh of relief....
Oh no! Charleshenryphillipwilliam is playing Cricket with the ForeFathers' Council Members! Looks like I am destined to be haunted by the Game..... Wait a minute! I have been fooled! There is no such day as 31st September! Remember September's sacrifice to August?
7 comments:
Interesting perspective on cricket...:)lemme kno anytime u need any fundaes on the same....
surrealmaxxx!!!!! but i like it....good stuff!! *nods*
sDear Miss Mynameistoolongsopleaseignoreit,
I am an solicitor for the council of the future generations, and future generations are worried that the obsession of the present generation with the game of cricket will make them forget them their primary duty, task, and raisaon d'etre of reproduction. Since this puts into question the very existense of the future generations, my clients are considering filing a lawsuit against the present generations in the court of generations, and since the forefathers (and foremothers also) have a stake in the judgement, i need evidence on how the forefathers (and foremothers) sacrifised the pleasures of games, thus concentrating on the pleasures of coupling, to protect the interest of the future generations. this will gretly help the future generations in presenting their case, for the outlawing of cricket.
Hope you will consider my request.
it is so u!!!! anyways, nice sense used in writing... it is always difficult to create humor.. u can do it.. lucky one :)
Niiiiiiiiice!
Keep it going, Muthu.
odd, but interesting. I too do not understand the game of cricket. how do you play for 5 days and not have a winner?
weird.
really cool and typical u.......
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